Threee blondes walk… - Blonde jokes - Three blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would've seen it.....

Threee blondes walk…

Three blondes walk into a building. You’d think one of them would’ve seen it…..
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A blonde, wanting… - Blonde jokes - A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

A blonde, wanting…

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” … Read more
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Q: What’s… - Blonde jokes - Q: What’s the difference between a smart blonde and a unicorn? A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.

Q: What’s…

Q: What’s the difference between a smart blonde and a unicorn? A: Nothing, they’re both fictional characters.
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Hey you! Funny pickup lines? you can find here. Use at your own risk!
A blond girl… - Blonde jokes - A blond girl was at the store, and just as she was heading for her car, someone stole it. The policemen asked, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."

A blond girl…

A blond girl was at the store, and just as she was heading for her car, someone stole it. The policemen asked, “Did you see the guy that did it?” She said, “No, but I got the license plate.”
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Three blondes walk… - Blonde jokes - Three blondes walk into a building. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.

Three blondes walk…

Three blondes walk into a building. You’d think at least one of them would’ve seen it.
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Q: How can… - Blonde jokes - Q: How can you tell if a blonde used a computer? A: There's Wite-Out all over the screen.

Q: How can…

Q: How can you tell if a blonde used a computer? A: There’s Wite-Out all over the screen.
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Do you know all Knock Knock jokes? Try it out!
A blonde really… - Blonde jokes - A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."

A blonde really…

A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, “I’m hanging myself because I’m tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!” Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on … Read more
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How many blondes… - Blonde jokes - How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Too many to count.

How many blondes…

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Too many to count.
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Why did the… - Blonde jokes - Why did the blonde climb the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

Why did the…

Why did the blonde climb the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.
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Check out our Chuck Norris jokes? Quickly! Before Chuck Norris finds out!
Did you hear… - Blonde jokes - Did you hear about the near‑tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage and eight blondes were stuck on the escalators for more than four hours.

Did you hear…

Did you hear about the near‑tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage and eight blondes were stuck on the escalators for more than four hours.
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A blonde and… - Blonde jokes - A blonde and a brunette were in the car when the brunette asked the blonde to tell her if the turn signal is working. The blonde leans out of the car and replies, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No..."

A blonde and…

A blonde and a brunette were in the car when the brunette asked the blonde to tell her if the turn signal is working. The blonde leans out of the car and replies, “Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No…”
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I knew a… - Blonde jokes - I knew a blonde that was so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

I knew a…

I knew a blonde that was so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
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Blonde jokes, who doesn't know them, but have you heard these?
Q: How do… - Blonde jokes - Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday? A: Tell her a joke on Friday.

Q: How do…

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday? A: Tell her a joke on Friday.
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What do you… - Blonde jokes - What do you get when you line up 5 blondes side by side? A wind tunnel.

What do you…

What do you get when you line up 5 blondes side by side? A wind tunnel.
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A blonde, a… - Blonde jokes - A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

A blonde, a…

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” … Read more
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Funny sayings? for any occasion, here you will find them.
A blonde goes… - Blonde jokes - A blonde goes to the doctor's and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what's wrong. She replies, "I know who the dad is for one of them but I don't know who the dad is for the other one!"

A blonde goes…

A blonde goes to the doctor’s and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what’s wrong. She replies, “I know who the dad is for one of them but I don’t know who the dad is for the other one!”
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Did you hear… - Blonde jokes - Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

Did you hear…

Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.
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Why did the… - Blonde jokes - Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing out all the 'W's.

Why did the…

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing out all the ‘W’s.
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funny dad jokes, at your own risk!
How did the… - Blonde jokes - How did the blonde try to kill the bird?? She threw it off a cliff.

How did the…

How did the blonde try to kill the bird?? She threw it off a cliff.
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A blonde is… - Blonde jokes - A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident." The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, "That's horrible!" Confused, he replies, "Yes Dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved." After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazilian?"

A blonde is…

A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, “Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.” The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, “That’s horrible!” Confused, he replies, “Yes Dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.” After a few minutes, the … Read more
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A blond asked… - Blonde jokes - A blond asked his friend, "Why does my sister have two brothers and I only have one?" #

A blond asked…

A blond asked his friend, “Why does my sister have two brothers and I only have one?” #
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You like it short and sweet? Perfect! Here come our Jokes One Liners!
Q: How do… - Blonde jokes - Q: How do you keep a blonde busy? A: Write "please flip over" on a piece of paper and give it to her.

Q: How do…

Q: How do you keep a blonde busy? A: Write “please flip over” on a piece of paper and give it to her.
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This blonde calls… - Blonde jokes - This blonde calls me and says, "What's your phone number? I cant find it!"

This blonde calls…

This blonde calls me and says, “What’s your phone number? I cant find it!”
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Q: Why did… - Blonde jokes - Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice bottle for 2 hours? A: Because it said 'concentrate'

Q: Why did…

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice bottle for 2 hours? A: Because it said ‘concentrate’
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Anyone who likes dark humor jokes has a high IQ and is damn good looking too!
Brunette: "Where were… - Blonde jokes - Brunette: "Where were you born?" Blonde: "The United States." Brunette: "Which part?" Blonde: "My whole body."

Brunette: “Where were…

Brunette: “Where were you born?” Blonde: “The United States.” Brunette: “Which part?” Blonde: “My whole body.”
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Two blondes fell… - Blonde jokes - Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

Two blondes fell…

Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” The other replied, “I don’t know; I can’t see.”
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Two bored casino... - Blonde jokes - Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, "I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless." With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and yells, "Come on, Southern girl needs new clothes!" As the dice bounce and come to a stop, she jumps up and down and squeals, "Yes! Yes! I won! I won!" She hugs each of the dealers, picks up her winnings, and her clothes, and quickly departs. The dealers stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asks, "What did she roll?" The other answers, "I don’t know, I thought you were watching."

Two bored casino…

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.” With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and … Read more
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No more good punchlines! Here come our anti jokes!
A police officer… - Blonde jokes - A police officer sees a blonde woman crying under a street lamp on the sidewalk. He asks her what's wrong and if there's anything he can do to help. The blonde replies, "I lost my wedding ring." The officer asks, "Okay, where did you drop it?" The blonde says, "About a block away, but the light is better here."

A police officer…

A police officer sees a blonde woman crying under a street lamp on the sidewalk. He asks her what’s wrong and if there’s anything he can do to help. The blonde replies, “I lost my wedding ring.” The officer asks, “Okay, where did you drop it?” The blonde says, “About a block away, but the … Read more
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Q: What do… - Blonde jokes - Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a Blonde's head? A: A Space Invader

Q: What do…

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a Blonde’s head? A: A Space Invader
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A brunette and… - Blonde jokes - A brunette and blonde are walking in the park when the brunette says, "Aw, look at the dead birdie." The blonde looks up and says, "Where?"

A brunette and…

A brunette and blonde are walking in the park when the brunette says, “Aw, look at the dead birdie.” The blonde looks up and says, “Where?”
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A blonde, redhead… - Blonde jokes - A blonde, redhead, and a brunette were thinking about what they would do if they went to space. The redhead said, "I would adopt a martian." The brunette said, "I would give Pluto some steroids." The Blonde said, "I would go to the sun." The redhead replied, "But you would burn up and die." The blonde responded, "Not if I went at night."

A blonde, redhead…

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette were thinking about what they would do if they went to space. The redhead said, “I would adopt a martian.” The brunette said, “I would give Pluto some steroids.” The Blonde said, “I would go to the sun.” The redhead replied, “But you would burn up and die.” The … Read more
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A blonde, a… - Blonde jokes - A blonde, a fat brunette, and a skinny redhead find a magic mirror. If you lie to the mirror you die. The redhead says, "I look fat," and dies. The brunette says, " I look skinny," and dies. The blonde says, "I think..." and dies.

A blonde, a…

A blonde, a fat brunette, and a skinny redhead find a magic mirror. If you lie to the mirror you die. The redhead says, “I look fat,” and dies. The brunette says, ” I look skinny,” and dies. The blonde says, “I think…” and dies.
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A police officer… - Blonde jokes - A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

A police officer…

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.”
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Two blondes fell… - Blonde jokes - Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

Two blondes fell…

Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” The other replied, “I don’t know; I can’t see.”
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A blonde sees… - Blonde jokes - A blonde sees a thermos in a store. She asks a clerk, "What is that and what's it for?" The clerk answers, "It's a thermos that keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde says, "I'll take it." When she gets to work, her blonde boss asks, "What is that?" The blonde worker says, "It's a thermos. It keeps cold things cold and hot things hot." "Whatcha got in it?" "A cup of coffee and a Popsicle."

A blonde sees…

A blonde sees a thermos in a store. She asks a clerk, “What is that and what’s it for?” The clerk answers, “It’s a thermos that keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” The blonde says, “I’ll take it.” When she gets to work, her blonde boss asks, “What is that?” The blonde worker … Read more
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A blonde and… - Blonde jokes - A blonde and brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why she had a rope tied around her waist. The blonde answered that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, "You're supposed to put the rope around your neck." The blonde replied, "I tried that but I couldn't breathe!"

A blonde and…

A blonde and brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why she had a rope tied around her waist. The blonde answered that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, “You’re supposed to put the rope … Read more
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Q: How did… - Blonde jokes - Q: How did the Blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her

Q: How did…

Q: How did the Blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her
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There was a… - Blonde jokes - There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals." One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?" "N," she answered.

There was a…

There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with … Read more
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Q: Why did… - Blonde jokes - Q: Why did the blonde pee on the ground?

Q: Why did…

Q: Why did the blonde pee on the ground?
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A blonde came… - Blonde jokes - A blonde came up to the librarian & yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters & the story makes no sense!" The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

A blonde came…

A blonde came up to the librarian & yelled, “This book sucks! There’s way too many characters & the story makes no sense!” The librarian said, “So you’re the one who took our phone book.”
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Why is a… - Blonde jokes - Why is a blonde girl staring at the orange juice box? The orange juice box says, "Concentrated."

Why is a…

Why is a blonde girl staring at the orange juice box? The orange juice box says, “Concentrated.”
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Q: Why do… - Blonde jokes - Q: Why do blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes? A: To remind them Toes Go In First.

Q: Why do…

Q: Why do blondes have “TGIF” written on their shoes? A: To remind them Toes Go In First.
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What is the… - Blonde jokes - What is the first thing that a blonde always does in the morning? Goes home.

What is the…

What is the first thing that a blonde always does in the morning? Goes home.
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A blonde decided… - Blonde jokes - A blonde decided to paint a room. When her husband got home, he asked, "Why are you wearing an Alaskan and a winter coat?" She replied, "The can said for best results apply 2 coats."

A blonde decided…

A blonde decided to paint a room. When her husband got home, he asked, “Why are you wearing an Alaskan and a winter coat?” She replied, “The can said for best results apply 2 coats.”
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A blonde walks… - Blonde jokes - A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the salesclerk. "Well, they feel a bit tight," replies the blonde. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde’s feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," offers the clerk. “Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the blonde replies.

A blonde walks…

A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asks the salesclerk. “Well, they feel a bit tight,” replies the blonde. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde’s feet. “Try pulling the tongue out,” offers the clerk. “Nath, … Read more
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A blonde walks… - Blonde jokes - A blonde walks into a hospital and claims that everywhere she touches hurts. The doctor says, "Ma'am, you have a broken finger."

A blonde walks…

A blonde walks into a hospital and claims that everywhere she touches hurts. The doctor says, “Ma’am, you have a broken finger.”
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A blonde is… - Blonde jokes - A blonde's neighbor's house was on fire so she called 911. The blonde told the operator, "My neighbor's house is on fire!" The operator asked, "Where are you?" The blonde answered, "At my house." The operator replied, "No, I'm asking how do we get there?" The blonde said, "In a firetruck, duh!"

A blonde is…

A blonde’s neighbor’s house was on fire so she called 911. The blonde told the operator, “My neighbor’s house is on fire!” The operator asked, “Where are you?” The blonde answered, “At my house.” The operator replied, “No, I’m asking how do we get there?” The blonde said, “In a firetruck, duh!”
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Q: Why can't… - Blonde jokes - Q: Why can't blondes tie shoes? A: They just can't grasp the concept that the long thing goes around the hole, not into it.

Q: Why can’t…

Q: Why can’t blondes tie shoes? A: They just can’t grasp the concept that the long thing goes around the hole, not into it.
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Q: What is… - Blonde jokes - Q: What is the best blonde secretary? A: One that never misses a period.

Q: What is…

Q: What is the best blonde secretary? A: One that never misses a period.
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Q: To a… - Blonde jokes - Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard? A: Grade 4.

Q: To a…

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard? A: Grade 4.
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