Where do cows take each other on a dates? To the moo-vies.
What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk? A milk dud.
How do you tuck in a cow? Bull Sheets.
My butcher gave me beef from a female cow. I said, “I believe this is a Miss Steak.”
What does a surfing cow say? “Cowabunga!”
What do you call a cow that drinks too much coffee? Over-calfinated.
Know knock. Who’s there. Moo. Moo who? Make up your mind: Are you a cow or an owl?
What did the cow say to its therapist? “I feel seen but not herd.”
What did the cow say at the end of the workday? An udder day, an udder dollar.
What did the Auntie cow say to her niece? “You’re so udderly cute!”
Why did the cow jump over the moon? Because the farmer’s hands were cold.
What do you get when you pamper a cow? Spoiled milk.
Where will you find the most cows? Moo York.
What happens when a cow laughs? Milk comes out of its nose.
What do you call a mother cow who has just given birth? De-calfinated.
What do you call a cow who has no ears? It doesn’t matter, it is never going to hear you.
I am jealous of my milk carton, it has a date and I don’t.
What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow? A steak-out.
How do cows keep tabs on one another? By reading the moos-paper.
What are cow knees called? Burger joints.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
Did you hear about the cow who just sprays her milk everywhere? She is an udder failure.
Where do you find cows who are having a really bad day? McDonalds.
What do cows eat for breakfast? Moosli.
What does the farmer talk about while milking a cow? Udder nonsense.