My friend said…
My friend said that if he went off a cliff, it would be on his own accord. It’s a good thing he drives a Civic.
Dark humor jokes
Do you sometimes feel weird that you laugh at dark humor jokes? Do you then think something like that you shouldn’t have laughed because that joke is really off, below the belt, totally tasteless and totally wrong?
Well, we can reassure you, if macabre, horrible jokes, if black humor, makes you laugh, then this could actually be a sign that you are just pretty smart and you are the world, with all its facets, including dark ones , just don’t take it too seriously.
Good news, right? And it is true and has been scientifically proven.
A study from 2017, carried out by an Austrian neurologist, has shown and proven that people who appreciate dark humor jokes do indeed have a high level of intellect and encounter issues such as death, illness, disability, and wars with bitter amusement are not very aggressive and negative at the same time.
That seems logical, because someone who can use humor to face the thirstiest subjects in life is likely to be less susceptible to all of the negativity that surrounds us all. Yes, life can be hard, haunt us with unpleasant moments, in the hard moments, to recognize something humorous. Lots of handicapped people joke about their own deviations from the norm, we think it’s a great way not to take yourself and life too seriously.
Maybe you don’t even know if you like dark humor jokes, we’ve put together a collection for you and maybe while reading you will catch yourself smiling or laughing out loud, maybe a sign that they are could be the nicest, smartest, most laid-back person they know.
One more important note … Not everyone shares this kind of humor and may hurt the other person, be sure to whom you can tell these jokes carefree.
I have good…
I have good and bad news, the doctor said to his patient. “Give me the good news first,” the patient said. “Your test results are back,” the doctor said, “and you have only two days to live.” “That’s the good news?” the patient exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?” “I’ve been trying to reach you for … Read more
They say that…
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it’s poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.
Hey you! Funny pickup lines? you can find here. Use at your own risk!
The world has…
The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors.
Do you know all Knock Knock jokes? Try it out!
What’s the last…
What’s the last thing to go through a fly’s head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 mph? Its butt.
A doctor walks…
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, “I’m sorry, but you only have ten left.” The patient asks him, “Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor calmly looks at him and says, “Nine.”
Check out our Chuck Norris jokes? Quickly! Before Chuck Norris finds out!
My wife and…
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. “She obviously has COVID,” my wife said. “Why?” I asked. My wife replied with a sneer, “Because she has no taste.”
What’s the difference…
What’s the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire? One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
Blonde jokes, who doesn't know them, but have you heard these?
When ordering food…
When ordering food at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepare their chicken. “Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Funny sayings? for any occasion, here you will find them.
What’s your name…
What’s your name, son? The principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” “Do you have a stutter?” the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”
Welcome back to…
Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today!
funny dad jokes, at your own risk!
If you donate…
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five and suddenly everyone is yelling. Sheesh!
I just got…
I just got my doctor’s test results and I’m really upset. Turns out, I’m not gonna be a doctor.
I’ll never forget…
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
You like it short and sweet? Perfect! Here come our Jokes One Liners!
What’s the difference…
What’s the difference between jelly and jam? You can’t jelly a clown into the tiny car.
My girlfriend’s dog…
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
Anyone who likes dark humor jokes has a high IQ and is damn good looking too!
I was digging…
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
I like to…
I like to spend my weekends playing chess with old men in the park. It’s not easy. You try finding thirty-two old guys.
No more good punchlines! Here come our anti jokes!
So a guy…
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy: “Hey mister, it’s getting dark out and I’m scared.” Man: “How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone.””
I was in…
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I liked the execution.
As I get…
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
I work with…
I work with animals, the guy says to his date. “That’s so sweet,” she replies. “I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?” “I’m a butcher,” he says.
What’s worse than…
What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm.
My grief counselor…
My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I don’t even care.
Imagine if you…
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That’s the punch line.
Two grandmothers were…
Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings. One of them says to the other, “Mine are so good at social distancing, they won’t even call me.”
My favorite novel…
My favorite novel is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
Where exactly are…
Where exactly are you taking me, doctor? the patient asked. “To the morgue,” the doctor replied. “What?” The patient panicked. “But I’m not dead yet!” “And we’re not there yet,” the doctor said.
Two hunters are…
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. “My friend isn’t breathing,” he shouts into the phone. “What should I do?” “Relax,” the operator tells him. “I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There’s silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on … Read more
Give a man…
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day. Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
It’s important to…
It’s important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words ‘antidote’ and ‘anecdote,’ one of my good friends would still be alive.
My wife told…
My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s öghöoawirghäkanfgdvläyioxhboösa
A kid decided…
A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, “That’s arson.”
My wife left…
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.” I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!
I never thought…
I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a six-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!
A man walks…
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can’t cut me down,” the tree complains. “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”
