Funny Bios for Insta

Guilty as charged! My hotness caused global warming.

If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.

I’m in desperate need of a 6 month vacation… Twice a year.

An evolutionary mass of atoms whose sole instinct is survival.

My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner topped with a chocolate dessert.

Behind every successful woman are her dreams to rule the world.

My compliments come out like ridicules.

When you are downie, eat a brownie.

Eat right. Stay in shape. Die anyway.

Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.

Going to bed early. Not going to a party. Not leaving my house. My childhood punishments have become my adult goals.

Don’t worry, Beyonce.

There are two kinds of people in this world. I don’t like both of them.

Only dead fish go with the flow.

People call me Sara but you can call me tonight

When nothing goes right, go left.

ETC. End of Thinking Capacity.

A lie is just a great story ruined by truth.

Don’t give up on your dreams. keep sleeping.

They say don’t try this at home…so I went to my friend’s home!

Recovering ice cream addict

Leave a little sparkle wherever you go.

How much does a hippie weigh? An Instagram!

I feel I am the undiscovered supermodel.

I am dating anyone who hearts my status, that is what the hearts are meant for.