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Funny sayings

Funny sayings keep showing us in a comedic way that we are all in the same boat. We go through similar things in this crazy life, be it the feeling when the alarm clock goes off on Monday morning, the coffee has run out, in love, at work, it’s the same everywhere.

Do you know someone who always works perfectly? We don’t know anyone, and that’s a good thing, otherwise it would be boring.

A good saying conjures up a smile on our faces or makes us nod our heads knowingly: “Ah yes, I know all too well!”

Often wisdom is skillfully combined with humor and that can really sweeten our day. A funny saying can accompany us all day, we can remember again and again and put ourselves in a good mood.

With funny sayings you can do everything, spice up your presentation, shine on social media or simply cheer up your friends.

Because that is good: Laughter is the best medicine for the soul and releases a lot of endorphins.

Funny sayings are a welcome distraction from everyday life, as inspiration, or to pause for a moment.

Treat yourself to a short, intense break from laughing, laugh again heartily at these effusions, you often recognize yourself in these sayings, which is probably why they are so popular.

Listen, smile, agree… - Funny sayings -

Listen, smile, agree…

Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.
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Everyone has photographic… - Funny sayings -

Everyone has photographic…

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don’t have the film.
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If I'm silent… - Funny sayings -

If I’m silent…

If I’m silent it’s because there’s thunder inside me. Or I’m just chilling, may the odds be in your favor.
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What rhymes with… - Funny sayings -

What rhymes with…

What rhymes with zoo and smells bad? You.
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Here, have a… - Funny sayings -

Here, have a…

Here, have a tissue. There’s still a bit of bullshit left on your mouth.
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Don’t vacuum… - Funny sayings -

Don’t vacuum…

Don’t vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn’t even on.
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A balanced diet… - Funny sayings -

A balanced diet…

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
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I don't need… - Funny sayings -

I don’t need…

I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
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My relationship is… - Funny sayings -

My relationship is…

My relationship is like an iPad. I don’t have an iPad.
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Don't tell me… - Funny sayings -

Don’t tell me…

Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
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To the guy… - Funny sayings -

To the guy…

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.
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Got a new… - Funny sayings -

Got a new…

Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test.
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I'd take a… - Funny sayings -

I’d take a…

I’d take a nerf bullet for you.
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Don't ask me… - Funny sayings -

Don’t ask me…

Don’t ask me anything, and I won’t tell you any lies.
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The ideal man… - Funny sayings -

The ideal man…

The ideal man doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t swear, doesn’t get angry, doesn’t exist.
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You are so… - Funny sayings -

You are so…

You are so fake, even China doesn’t want to be associated with you.
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I'm so old… - Funny sayings -

I’m so old…

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.
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I solemnly swear… - Funny sayings -

I solemnly swear…

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
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Smile today, tomorrow… - Funny sayings -

Smile today, tomorrow…

Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.
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I love ordering… - Funny sayings -

I love ordering…

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.
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The most important… - Funny sayings -

The most important…

The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it’s having the phone number of somebody who does!
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The road to… - Funny sayings -

The road to…

The road to success is always under construction.
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If you had… - Funny sayings -

If you had…

If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate?
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I'm not clumsy… - Funny sayings -

I’m not clumsy…

I’m not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
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Doing nothing is… - Funny sayings -

Doing nothing is…

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.
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