The lady janitor…
The lady janitor in my office building asked if I would hang out with her and smoke a joint. I told her “no, I can’t deal with high maintenance women.”
Inappropriate jokes
The beauty of jokes is that they exist for every taste. Thus, inappropriate jokes enjoy a large following. And that’s understandable in these strange times, when it’s allowed to be just a little more hearty and below the belt.
Then, when one’s hat is about to burst again, between home office, new incidence figures and this powerlessness in the face of this nasty virus. It’s perfectly legitimate to laugh at inappropriate jokes and tell them. Because laughter is healthy and health is what we all need right now.
So enjoy this little time out!
Google is a…
Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.
Mum: “Darling, what…
Mum: “Darling, what is your Christmas wish this year?” Daughter: “I would like to help people in need, I wish that Father Christmas would send some clothes to the all of the naked girls in dad’s computer.”
Men vacuum the…
Men vacuum the same way that they have sex with their wife. They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch.
My first high…
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex. I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
What is even…
What is even worse than waking up after a party and finding a penis was drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced.
How many men…
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Did you hear…
Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn’t close his casket.
I distinctly remember…
I distinctly remember my mother telling me, “I do not have a favourite child.” I found this extremely hard to take as a kid, mainly because I was an only child.
A son tells…
A son tells his father: “I have an imaginary girlfriend.” The father sighs and says: “You know, you could do better.” Son: “Thanks Dad!” Father: “I was talking to your girlfriend.”
How can you…
How can you tell when the barmaid is not happy with you? There is a string hanging out of your bloody mary.
What did the…
What did the elephant say to the naked man? “How the hell do you breath and drink out of that small thing?”
Last time a…
Last time a woman saw me naked for the first time, she screamed and ran out of the park.
Sorry, there is…
Sorry, there is no offensive jokes about cows. Why? They all have been re-mooh-ved.