What do you call a car that never sleeps? Cargo!
What did the Brittish umpire say to the batter? Europe.
What kind of tree grows in your hand. A palm tree.
What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow? Reality.
What Do You Get When You Have A Cat That Eats Lemons? A sour puss.
What do you all a fancy sea creature? Sofishticated.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be called bagels.
What do you call a crab that plays baseball? A pinch hitter.
Why are sponges depressed? They’re always soaking.
Where should you go if your dog is missing? The lost and hound.
Why don’t trees use the train? They can never decide on a root.
What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A dead school bus.
Why did the man throw his margarine? He wanted to see the butter fly.
What is the clumsiest bee? A bumbling bee.
How do dinosaurs decorate their kitchens? With rep-tiles!
Why should you never use a dull pencil? It’s pointless.
What do sharks say when something radical happens? Jawesome!
What is the raddest aircraft? The hella-copter.
Why was the broom late? It over swept.
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
Why did the GPS coordinate get kicked out of class? He had a bad lattitude.
Why did the lion eat a lightbulb? He wanted a light lunch.
What type of check has no money? spell-check.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She’d let it go.
Did you hear the joke about the toilet? Never mind, it’s too dirty.
Why did the strawberry cross the road? His mother was in a jam.
What is always behind the time? The back of the clock.
What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies!
How do you know it’s been raining cats and dogs? You step in a poodle.
Why did the cookie to the hospital? He was feeling crummy.
How can hurricanes see? They have eyes.
What does a car run on? Wheels.
What did the gangster say to Julius Caesar? You’re my Romeboy.
Why did they bury the battery? Because it was dead.
What’s a top you can’t wear? A laptop.
What did the hurricane say to the island? I’ve got my eye on you!
Why couldn’t the shoes go out to play? They were all tied up.
What kind of tea is the hardest? Reality.
How is a USB like an elephant? They both have memory skills.
Why do winners always win? It beats me.
What is thin, white, and scary? Homework.
How Does a cyclist train for a race? He recycles.
Why do hamburgers go south for the winter? So they don’t freeze their buns!
What’s a mummy’s favorite food? Wraps.
When can peanuts laugh? When you crack them up!
What is the definition of a farmer? Someone is good in their field.
Why did the farmer yell at the grape? Because it was being un-rasin-able.
What can open doors and is full of letters? Keys.