Math jokes

What is brown, furry, runs to the sea, and is equivalent to the Axiom of Choice? Zorn’s lemming or the Well-Ottering principle. They’re equivalent in the ZF Sea.

You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that can’t be divided by two.

Why is 69 so scared of 70? Because once they fought, and 71.

Why couldn’t the angle get a loan? Its parents wouldn’t cosine.

Algebra can make you a better dancer. Do you know why? Because you can use an algo-rhythm.

Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

Which tool is best for math? The multi-pliers.

Which big cat is good at linearly approximating a differentiable function? A tangent lion or a straight lion

Why is statistics never anyone’s favorite subject? It’s just average.

What couldn’t the Möbius strip enroll at Caltech? Because we require freshman orientation

Why do nurses use 1-to-1 functions so much? Injections.

Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You told me not to use tables.

Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.

What do mathematicians do after a snowstorm? Make snow angles!

Student One: I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday. Student Two: She must be plotting something.

Which numbers just won’t sit still? Roamin’ numbers

I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig, I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!

What’s purple and commutes? An Abelian grape.

God is real, unless proclaimed integer.

A statistics professor and a math professor worked together on a cookbook. They called it “Pi A La Mode”.

Follow-up: What fakes politeness and works for the phone company? A pseudo-deferential operator

A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

What does the “B” in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B Mandelbrot

Math is the language God used to write the universe.

Why didn’t Newton discover group theory? Because he wasn’t Abel