Math is like… - Math jokes - Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.

Math is like…

Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.
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What do mathematicians… - Math jokes - What do mathematicians do after a snowstorm? Make snow angles!

What do mathematicians…

What do mathematicians do after a snowstorm? Make snow angles!
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Student One: I… - Math jokes - Student One: I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday. Student Two: She must be plotting something.

Student One: I…

Student One: I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday. Student Two: She must be plotting something.
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Hey you! Funny pickup lines? you can find here. Use at your own risk!
Which numbers just… - Math jokes - Which numbers just won’t sit still? Roamin’ numbers

Which numbers just…

Which numbers just won’t sit still? Roamin’ numbers
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I’ll do… - Math jokes - I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig, I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!

I’ll do…

I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig, I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!
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What's purple and… - Math jokes - What's purple and commutes? An Abelian grape.

What’s purple and…

What’s purple and commutes? An Abelian grape.
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Do you know all Knock Knock jokes? Try it out!
God is real… - Math jokes - God is real, unless proclaimed integer.

God is real…

God is real, unless proclaimed integer.
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A statistics professor… - Math jokes - A statistics professor and a math professor worked together on a cookbook. They called it “Pi A La Mode”.

A statistics professor…

A statistics professor and a math professor worked together on a cookbook. They called it “Pi A La Mode”.
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What is brown… - Math jokes - What is brown, furry, runs to the sea, and is equivalent to the Axiom of Choice? Zorn's lemming or the Well-Ottering principle. They're equivalent in the ZF Sea.

What is brown…

What is brown, furry, runs to the sea, and is equivalent to the Axiom of Choice? Zorn’s lemming or the Well-Ottering principle. They’re equivalent in the ZF Sea.
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Check out our Chuck Norris jokes? Quickly! Before Chuck Norris finds out!
You know what… - Math jokes - You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that can’t be divided by two.

You know what…

You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that can’t be divided by two.
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Why is 69 so… - Math jokes - Why is 69 so scared of 70? Because once they fought, and 71.

Why is 69 so…

Why is 69 so scared of 70? Because once they fought, and 71.
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Why couldn’t… - Math jokes - Why couldn’t the angle get a loan? Its parents wouldn’t cosine.

Why couldn’t…

Why couldn’t the angle get a loan? Its parents wouldn’t cosine.
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Blonde jokes, who doesn't know them, but have you heard these?
Algebra can make… - Math jokes - Algebra can make you a better dancer. Do you know why? Because you can use an algo-rhythm.

Algebra can make…

Algebra can make you a better dancer. Do you know why? Because you can use an algo-rhythm.
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Philosophy is a… - Math jokes - Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

Philosophy is a…

Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
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Which tool is… - Math jokes - Which tool is best for math? The multi-pliers.

Which tool is…

Which tool is best for math? The multi-pliers.
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Funny sayings? for any occasion, here you will find them.
Which big cat… - Math jokes - Which big cat is good at linearly approximating a differentiable function? A tangent lion or a straight lion

Which big cat…

Which big cat is good at linearly approximating a differentiable function? A tangent lion or a straight lion
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Why is statistics… - Math jokes - Why is statistics never anyone’s favorite subject? It’s just average.

Why is statistics…

Why is statistics never anyone’s favorite subject? It’s just average.
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What couldn't the… - Math jokes - What couldn't the Möbius strip enroll at Caltech? Because we require freshman orientation

What couldn’t the…

What couldn’t the Möbius strip enroll at Caltech? Because we require freshman orientation
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funny dad jokes, at your own risk!
Why do nurses… - Math jokes - Why do nurses use 1-to-1 functions so much? Injections.

Why do nurses…

Why do nurses use 1-to-1 functions so much? Injections.
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Teacher: Why are… - Math jokes - Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You told me not to use tables.

Teacher: Why are…

Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You told me not to use tables.
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Q: What will… - Math jokes - Q: What will a logician choose: a half of an egg or eternal bliss in the afterlife? A: A half of an egg! Because nothing is better than eternal bliss in the afterlife, and a half of an egg is better than nothing.

Q: What will…

Q: What will a logician choose: a half of an egg or eternal bliss in the afterlife? A: A half of an egg! Because nothing is better than eternal bliss in the afterlife, and a half of an egg is better than nothing.
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You like it short and sweet? Perfect! Here come our Jokes One Liners!
Which civilization was… - Math jokes - Which civilization was best at algebra? The Romans. For them, X was always 10.

Which civilization was…

Which civilization was best at algebra? The Romans. For them, X was always 10.
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Mathematician: πr2(Pi… - Math jokes - Mathematician: πr2(Pi r squared). Baker: No! Pies are round and cakes are square!

Mathematician: πr2(Pi…

Mathematician: πr2(Pi r squared). Baker: No! Pies are round and cakes are square!
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Why is the… - Math jokes - Why is the obtuse triangle always upset? Because it is never right!

Why is the…

Why is the obtuse triangle always upset? Because it is never right!
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Anyone who likes dark humor jokes has a high IQ and is damn good looking too!
Did you know… - Math jokes - Did you know that there are three kinds of people in the world? Here they are: people who can count and people who can’t.

Did you know…

Did you know that there are three kinds of people in the world? Here they are: people who can count and people who can’t.
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A mathematician decides… - Math jokes - A mathematician decides he wants to learn more about practical problems. He sees a seminar with a nice title: "The Theory of Gears." So he goes. The speaker stands up and begins, "The theory of gears with a real number of teeth is well known ..."

A mathematician decides…

A mathematician decides he wants to learn more about practical problems. He sees a seminar with a nice title: “The Theory of Gears.” So he goes. The speaker stands up and begins, “The theory of gears with a real number of teeth is well known …”
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Hey have you… - Math jokes - Hey have you ever noticed what’s odd? Every other number!

Hey have you…

Hey have you ever noticed what’s odd? Every other number!
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No more good punchlines! Here come our anti jokes!
Why did Emil… - Math jokes - Why did Emil Artin's necklace keep falling off? It had a descending chain condition.

Why did Emil…

Why did Emil Artin’s necklace keep falling off? It had a descending chain condition.
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What tool is… - Math jokes - What tool is best suited for math? Multi-pliers.

What tool is…

What tool is best suited for math? Multi-pliers.
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What do the… - Math jokes - What do the moon and a dollar have in common? They both have 4 quarters.

What do the…

What do the moon and a dollar have in common? They both have 4 quarters.
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How did the… - Math jokes - How did the matrix whose eigenvalues summed to zero disappear? It vanished without a trace.

How did the…

How did the matrix whose eigenvalues summed to zero disappear? It vanished without a trace.
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What is a… - Math jokes - What is a math teacher’s favorite sum? Summer.

What is a…

What is a math teacher’s favorite sum? Summer.
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What is polite… - Math jokes - What is polite and works for the phone company? A deferential operator

What is polite…

What is polite and works for the phone company? A deferential operator
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Why was Gollum… - Math jokes - Why was Gollum obsessed with Z/6Z? Why are algebraic geometers always coming up with evil plans? They really like schemes.

Why was Gollum…

Why was Gollum obsessed with Z/6Z? Why are algebraic geometers always coming up with evil plans? They really like schemes.
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I poured root… - Math jokes - I poured root beer into a square cup. Now I have beer.

I poured root…

I poured root beer into a square cup. Now I have beer.
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What tastes like… - Math jokes - What tastes like oranges and is differentiable in the whole complex plane? A clementire

What tastes like…

What tastes like oranges and is differentiable in the whole complex plane? A clementire
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Parallel lines have… - Math jokes - Parallel lines have so much in common … It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Parallel lines have…

Parallel lines have so much in common … It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
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Why do analyists… - Math jokes - Why do analyists and number theorists like parks? Because of all the natural logs.

Why do analyists…

Why do analyists and number theorists like parks? Because of all the natural logs.
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Why was Fibonacci… - Math jokes - Why was Fibonacci afraid of 5? Because 5 8 13

Why was Fibonacci…

Why was Fibonacci afraid of 5? Because 5 8 13
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Dean, to the… - Math jokes - Dean, to the physics department. "Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math. department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper."

Dean, to the…

Dean, to the physics department. “Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn’t you be like the math. department – all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are … Read more
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What’s the… - Math jokes - What’s the best way to get a math tutor? An add!

What’s the…

What’s the best way to get a math tutor? An add!
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A mathematician sees… - Math jokes - A mathematician sees three people go into a building. Later she sees four people leave. When she is asked how many people are in the building she replies, “Well, if one person enters the house it’ll be empty.”

A mathematician sees…

A mathematician sees three people go into a building. Later she sees four people leave. When she is asked how many people are in the building she replies, “Well, if one person enters the house it’ll be empty.”
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What is woolly… - Math jokes - What is woolly, spits, and is equivalent to the Axiom of Choice? Zorn's llama.

What is woolly…

What is woolly, spits, and is equivalent to the Axiom of Choice? Zorn’s llama.
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When a statistician… - Math jokes - When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. "Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer..."

When a statistician…

When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. “Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer…”
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I had an… - Math jokes - I had an argument with a 90° angle. It turns out it was right.

I had an…

I had an argument with a 90° angle. It turns out it was right.
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Follow-up: What… - Math jokes - Follow-up: What fakes politeness and works for the phone company? A pseudo-deferential operator

Follow-up: What…

Follow-up: What fakes politeness and works for the phone company? A pseudo-deferential operator
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A statistician is… - Math jokes - A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

A statistician is…

A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
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What does the… - Math jokes - What does the "B" in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B Mandelbrot

What does the…

What does the “B” in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B Mandelbrot
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Math is the… - Math jokes - Math is the language God used to write the universe.

Math is the…

Math is the language God used to write the universe.
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Why didn't Newton… - Math jokes - Why didn't Newton discover group theory? Because he wasn't Abel

Why didn’t Newton…

Why didn’t Newton discover group theory? Because he wasn’t Abel
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