Yo momma jokes

Yo momma’s so fat, she wore a black bathing suit to the pool and everyone yelled “oil spill!”

Yo mama so ugly the Terminator said, “I won’t be back.”

Yo momma is so fat that Dora can’t even explore her!

Yo mama is so fat on Halloween she threw on a white sheet and went as Antarctica.

Yo momma’s so fat, the only way to get her out of a telephone booth is to grease her thighs and throw a Twinkie in the street.

Yo mama is like a campfire: everybody gets to stick their wieners in.

Yo momma so stupid, she tried to talk into an envelope to send a voicemail.

Yo momma is so fat she sat on the rainbow and Skittles came out.

Yo Momma’s teeth are so yellow, that when she smiles, traffic slows down!

Yo momma so stupid she thought Bruno Mars was a planet.

Yo momma is so fat that the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale.

Yo momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, “Go back to work!”

Yo mama so fat the bears have to hide their food from her when she goes camping.

Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gas money.

Yo momma so fat she fell out of the family tree.

Your momma is so stupid she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

Yo mamma so stupid her password needed 8 characters, so she typed “Snow White and the 7 dwarfs.”

Yo momma is so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo momma’s so fat, she only knows 3 letters of the alphabet: KFC.

Yo momma is so poor I saw her kicking a trash can so I asked, “What are you doing?” and she said, “I’m moving.”

Yo momma’s so fat, she played the role of the boulder in the first Indiana Jones movie.

Yo momma is so old, I slapped her in the back and her boobs fell off.

Yo momma’s so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Yo Mama is so fat, when she pressed the UP button on the elevator it went DOWN.

Your mom is so stupid I told her spring was around the corner and she went looking for it.

Yo momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Yo mamma’s so fat, I don’t have to make a joke.

Yo mama’s teeth so yellow, I can’t believe its not butter.

Yo momma so dumb when I said, “Drinks on the house,” she got a ladder.

Yo momma is so ugly her momma had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to lick her.

Yo momma’s so stupid, she steals samples from stores!

Yo momma’s so fat, she got baptized at Sea World.

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.

Yo momma’s so fat she puts a cup of water in the bathtub and it still overflows!

Yo momma’s so ugly she makes the blind go crippled!

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight not your phone number.”

Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on a scale it said, “One person at a time please.”

Yo momma is so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

Yo mamma is so stupid, she stopped her car at a stop sign and she’s still waiting for it to turn green.

Yo momma’s so fat, when she uses the keyboard she presses every key at once!

Yo mama so dark when I clicked on her profile pic, I thought my phone died.

Yo mamma so fat when she died she broke the stairway to heaven.

Yo momma is so ashy, every time she rubs her arms it snows.

Yo mama’s so broke that she couldn’t even pay attention.

Yo mama is so fat when she took her dress to the dry cleaners they said, “Sorry, we don’t do curtains.”

Yo mama’s so fat when I pictured her in my head she broke my neck.

Yo momma so stupid she stuck a phone up her butt and thought she was making a booty call!

Yo momma is so hairy, when she went to the movie theater to see Star Wars, everybody screamed and said, “IT’S CHEWBACCA!”

Yo momma so stupid it took her four hours to watch “60 Minutes.”

Yo momma is so fat when she went to KFC the cashier asked, “What size bucket?” and yo momma said, “The one on the roof.”

Yo mama so stupid, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.

Yo momma’s so fat, when she was floating in the ocean, Spain claimed her for the new world.

Yo mama’s so poor that ducks throw bread at her.

Yo momma is so short, you can see her feet on her driver’s license.

Yo mama so fat she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.

Yo momma’s so fat, her baby pictures were taken by satellite.

Yo mama so fat the only reason she took algebra in high school was because she heard there was gonna be some pi.

Yo momma’s so fat, even Dora can’t explore her.

Your momma is so hairy when she opens her legs it says “Welcome to Busch Gardens.”

Yo momma is so poor she went running after the garbage truck with a grocery list.

Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad!

Yo momma’s so fat, when she farted, she launched herself into orbit.

Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on the back of the bus it did a wheelie.

Yo momma’s so smelly, that when she spread her legs, I got seasick.

Yo momma’s so fat, the Hogwarts Sorting Hat put her in all 4 houses!

Your mama is so stupid she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.

Yo mama’s armpit is so hairy it looks like she has Bigfoot in a headlock.

Yo momma is so fat when she stepped on the scale it read, “Get the hell off me!”

Yo momma’s breath smelled so bad when she walked by a clock it said, “Tic Tac.”

Yo momma is so ugly that when the Kool-Aid man broke through her wall he said, “Oh noooo!”

Yo mama so fat, she doesn’t need internet, she’s already worldwide.

Yo mamma is so fat, the only good grade she got in school was an “A” in lunch.

Yo mama is so fat that when she takes a shower her feet don’t get wet.

Yo momma is so ugly her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.

Yo momma’s so fat, her belt size is “Equator.”

Yo momma is so fat that when she saw a yellow school bus go by full of white kids she ran after it yelling, “TWINKIE!”

Yo mamma is so fat, black holes get sucked into her.

Yo mama so dumb she tried to make an appointment with Dr. Pepper.

Yo mamma is so ugly when she took a bath the water jumped out.

Yo momma so ugly she is the reason they turn off the lights at the movie theater.

Yo mama so ugly when she went into a haunted house she came out with a job application.

Yo momma’s so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday!

Yo momma is so black, she got marked absent at night school.

Yo momma so dumb that when she was locked in a grocery store she starved!

Yo momma’s so stupid she thought Taco Bell was the Mexican phone company.

Yo momma’s so fat, her measurements are 36-24-26, and that’s just her left arm.

Yo mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin’ Donuts was a basketball team.

Yo momma so fat when she registered for MySpace there was no space left.

Yo momma is so fat you need to take two trains and a bus just to get on her good side.

Yo momma is so ugly even Hello Kitty said, “Goodbye” to her

Yo mamma is so ugly, she scared the shit out of the toilet.

Yo momma is so stupid when your dad sad it was chilly outside, she ran out the door with a spoon!

Yo momma’s so fat she can’t even jump to a conclusion.

Yo mama so fat, Dracula sucked her blood and got diabetes.

Yo momma is so stupid that when thieves broke in and stole the tv, she ran outside and yelled to them,”Hey, you forgot the remote!”

Yo momma is so stupid she brought a spoon to the super bowl.

Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, “We are family, even though you’re fatter than me.”

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to save a fish from drowning.

Yo momma so fat her favorite food is seconds.

Yo mamma so stupid she put two M&M’s in her ear and said she was listening to Eminem.

Yo mama’s so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says, “Please step out of the car.”

Yo mama so ugly she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.

Yo momma so ugly, she had to get the baby drunk so that she could breastfeed it.

Yo mama’s so stupid she put paper on the television and called it paper view.

Yo momma’s so fat, she has more rolls than a bakery.

Yo momma so fat when she steps out in a yellow raincoat, the people yell, “TAXI!”

Yo momma is so fat she went to church with heels on and when she came back home they were flats.

Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, “Sorry, no professionals.”

Yo momma’s so fat and old when God said, “Let there be light,” he asked your mother to move out of the way.

Yo momma so stupid she stuck a battery up her ass and said, “I GOT THE POWER!”

Yo momma’s so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.

Yo momma is so ugly she turned Medusa into stone.

Yo mamma so stupid she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order.

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.

Your momma so ugly she has to sneak up on the mirror.

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on an iPad she made a plasma TV.

Yo mama so fat, when she sweats she causes a tsunami.

Yo momma is so stupid that she sat on the TV to watch the couch.

Yo mama so fat, she has her own zip code.

Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Yo momma is so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo momma so dumb, she tried to surf the microwave

Yo mamma is so fat she doesn’t need the internet, because she’s already world wide.

Yo mama so fat when stepped on a scale she said, “How does it know my credit card number?”

Your mamma’s so fat people jog around her for exercise.

Yo momma’s so fat, when she went to the beach, the whales sang, “We are family!”

Yo mama is so ugly she made my happy meal cry

Yo mamma is so fat she walked past the TV and I missed 3 episodes.

Yo’ Mama is so ugly, yo’ daddy takes her to work with him so he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Yo mama is so stupid when the judge said, Order! Order!” she said, “Fries and coke please.”

Yo momma’s so fat, when I swerved to avoid her in the street I ran outta gas.

Yo mama is so ugly when the devil saw her, he started praying.

Yo momma’s so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Yo momma’s so fat she needs cheat codes for Wii Fit.

Yo momma is so ugly Fix-It Felix said, “I can’t fix it.”

Yo momma’s so stupid, she tried to hug her reflection in the pool thinking it was her long lost twin, and drowned.

Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the “CALL” button.

Yo Momma’s so fat when I told her to touch her toes she said, “What are those”?

Yo mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.

Your momma is so old when her breast milk comes out it’s powder.

Yo momma’s so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

Yo momma’s so fat, that when she went to the zoo, the hippos got jealous.

Yo momma’s so fat, she tripped over Wal-Mart, stumbled over K-Mart, and landed on Target.

Yo momma is so poor that when I asked her whats for dinner tonight she lit her pocket on fire and said, “hot pocket.”

Yo mamma’s so ugly, when her house was being robbed, the mugger took off his mask and made her wear it.

Your momma’s so ugly, when she goes into a strip club, they pay her to keep her clothes on.

Yo mamma so short when she tried to smoke weed she couldn’t get high.

Yo mama so fat I tried driving around her and I ran out of gas.

Yo mama jokes are old and overused just like yo mama!