Lieblingswitze
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Funny Sayings

I am not fat. I’m just much easier to see.
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean but people always think I’m joking.
Decency is my jewel.
I prefer my puns intended.
How much does a hippie weigh? An Instagram!
I am dating anyone who hearts my status, that is what the hearts are meant for.
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.
I am a combo of sweet and spice.
You’re checking my Instagram again, aren’t you?
I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
Relationship status: Netflix and ice cream.
My bed is a magical place, I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
Too rad to be sad.
Some things are better left incoherent.
Don’t tell anyone, but I’m a ninja.
Don’t call me crazy! I prefer the term mentally hilarious.
The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.
No idea how many issues I have because math is one of them.
I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 13 to go.
Everyone has me figured out, which makes it super easy for me.