Certified meat-eater…

What do a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

What's the opposite of irony? Wrinkly.

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for Christmas cookies!