Do not go…

Why did Mrs. Claus insist Santa take an umbrella? “Because of the rain, dear.”

Why do I smile? Because I absolutely have no idea what's happening.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut.

You know what always catches my eye? Short people with umbrellas.