Have you ever…

I am standing outside. Therefore, if anyone asks, I am outstanding!

A blonde walks into a hospital and claims that everywhere she touches hurts. The doctor says, "Ma'am, you have a...

What falls down but never gets hurt? Snow!

What did the lunchbox say to the banana? You really have appeal.

Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.