How do snails…

How many ears do space aliens have? Three: The left ear, right ear and the final front ear.

A blonde came up to the librarian & yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters & the story...

Your ex. That's the punchline.

I met a math teacher who had 12 children. She really knows how to multiply!

I'll cook you dinner, if you cook me breakfast.