I have a…

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut.

Why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital? Because he has private elf care!

Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn’t close his casket.

I just want to jump out of the window and land on a huge pile of dessert.

I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check...