No one expects…

While it's true that hard work never killed anyone, why take the chance?

I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was gathering dust!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsil-itis!

I left my job at a shoe disposal plant. It was sole destroying.

You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends… But you can’t rob a bank. That’s a felony.