What did the…

Q. Why was the shipping vessel so excited to come home? A. Because it was his berth-day.

How can you tell that you're getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!

When I was born I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery merry Christmas to you!

If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber!