You batter believe…

Why is a tree like a big dog? They both have a lot of bark!

Why are there gates around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in!

My dogs been having a bad day I asked him “hows life?” and all he said was its “RUFF”

I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.

Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillow? It's making headlines.