You know you…

Student One: I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday. Student Two: She must be plotting...

Why did they bury the battery? Because it was dead.

What’s the difference between a businessman and a hot dog? The businessman wears a suit but the dog just pants.

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this...

Here, have a tissue. There’s still a bit of bullshit left on your mouth.