What Do You Call Jokes

What do you call a Friday that is not serious about anything in life? Casual Friday.

What do you call it when you have to finish your homework on a Friday? A cryday night.

What do you call the day when you have to submit a huge assignment that you have not even started? Frightay.

What do you call an over priced circumcision? A rip off.

What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? Au revoir.

What do you call an accountant for the biology department? A buy-ologist.

What do you call a Spaniard with a rubber toe? Roberto!

What do you call a Spaniard with a lowered car? Carlos!

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope.

What do you call an arrogant criminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending!

What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Primemates!

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.

What do you call it when a snowman gets old? A puddle.

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Invest-gator!

What do you call a nun who sleepwalks? A roamin‘ Catholic.

What do you call the duck who has straight As on his report card? A wise quacker.

What do you call strawberries playing the guitar? A jam session!

What do you call a Pig who knows karate? A Pork Chop!

What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi. How do bats check that they don’t fly into anything? They look in their wing mirror!

What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? Bernadette.

What do you call bears with no ears? B–

What do you call a monkey at the North Pole? Lost.

What do you call an almond who loves chocolate? A cocoa nut!

What do you call an aardvark that is three feet long? A Yardvark.

What do you call a table that is next to your bed? A one-night stand.

What do you call an avocado that’s been blessed by the pope? Holy Guacamole.

What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

What do you call a chair that smokes weed? A highchair.

What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument? A moosician.

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.

What do you call a priest that becomes an attorney? Father-in-Law.

What do you call a pay toilet? Johnny Cash.

What do you call a clown that’s incarcerated? A silicon.

What do you call a math rock band fronted by Al Gore? Algorithm.

What do you call a factory that manufactures products that are just OK? A satisfactory.

What do you call milk that gets anything it wants? Spoiled milk.

What do you order at a restaurant called Karma? You get what you deserve.

What do you call someone who never passes gas in public? A private tutor.

What do you call a cow eating grass? A lawn moo-er.

What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell.

What do you call a disagreement between two electric companies? A power struggle.

What do you call leftover salad? The last romaines.

What do you call a church that’s on fire? Holy smokes.

What do you call two birds that are in love? Tweethearts.

What do you call a piece of sad cheese? Blue cheese.

What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake.

What do you call a cute door? Adorable.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.

What do you call a red neck that’s on fire? A firecracker.

What do you call a Jedi warrior with only one hand? Hand solo.

What do you call a baby polar bear? An ice cub.

What do you call an owl that’s a magician? Who-dini.

What do you call an army retreating from a battle? A back up plan.

What do you call a pig in a blanket? A pig-nic.

What do you call a joke you tell while washing your hands? A clean joke.

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore.

What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? A bi-polar bear.

What do you call a cat that has a fondness for beans? Puss ‘N Toots.

What do you call a dog that’s freezing? A chili dog.

What do you call a dead parrot? Polygon.

What do you call someone who plays Fortnite all day and all night? A virgin.

What do you call a pencil that is broken? Pointless.

What do you call a rabbit that is really cool? A hip hopper.

What do you call it when one cow spies on another?A steak out!

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.

What do you call a drill sergeant? A dentist in the army.

What do you call a bee that’s having a bad hair day? A Frisbee.

What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.

What do you call a 300-pound tight end? A wide receiver

What do you call a man with a toilet on his head? John

What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!

What do you call a paddle sale at the marina? An oar deal.

What do you call an argument between two electric companies? A power struggle!

What do you call why Snoop Dogg carries an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.

What do you call someone who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A Mer-Maid.

What do you call someone who draws funny pictures of cars? A Car-toonist.

What do you call the fear of being trapped in a chimney? Claus-traphobia!

What do you call someone who is working with a clock under his desk? Working Overtime.

What do you call a sad cheese? A Blue cheese!

What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowtain.

What do you call a pig that knows Karate? A Pork Chop.

What do you call a sick juggler? Someone who can’t stop throwing up.

What do you call a stolen kiss? A Felony.

What do you call a Jedi with one arm? Hand Solo!

What do you call someone trying to catch a squirrel in a tree? A nut.

What do you call a joke without a punchline? Silence.

What do you call a bear that never wants to grow up? Peter Panda!

What do you call shorts that clouds wear? Thunderwear.

What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time!

What do you call shaving a sheep that’s crazy? Shear madness.

What do you call the lights on Noah’s Ark? Flood Lights.

What do you call a sleeping wolf? An unawarewolf!

What do you call a pessimistic Mexican? A Mexican’t.

What do you call a magician on a plane? A Flying Sorcerer.

What do you call a person who doesn’t fart in public? A private tutor!

What do you call the shoes that all spies wear? Sneakers.

What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts? A Hobby Horse.

What do you call a cheese that doesn’t belong to you? Nacho cheese!

What do you call a dollar frozen in a block of ice? Cold hard cash.

What do you call a song sung in a car? A car tune.

What do you call a tiny mother? A minimum!‘

What do you call the daughter of a hamburger? Patty.

What do you call the death of a guy who is hit by a falling ax? Axe-i-dental.

What do you call a factory that sells OK products? A satisfactory!

What do you calla Russian Tree? Dimitree

What do you call your daughter’s boyfriend when he brings her home late? An ambulance.

What do you call an avocado that’s been blessed by the pope? Holy Guacamole!

What do you call an egg laid by an evil chicken? A deviled egg.

What do you call the pants of a five-legged monster? A Glove.

What do you call a fat pumpkin? A pumpkin!

What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky.

What do you call a man with no ears? Anything you want.

What do you call a three-footed aardvark? A yardvark!

What do you call a clock that is thrown through the air? Time flies.

What do you call the longest word in the dictionary? Smiles, because there is a mile between each “s.”

What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? A bagel!

What do you call someone who is bouncing a basketball? A dribbler.

What does a triangle call a circle? Pointless.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer!!

What do you call a bear with no socks? Barefoot.

What do you call something that’s easy to get into, but hard to get out of? Trouble

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch!

What do you call something that runs but never gets anywhere? A refrigerator.

What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious

What do you call a clown who’s in jail? A silicon!

What do you call two octopuses that look exactly the same? Itenticle

What do you call the month that soldiers hate most? March

What do you call a meditating wolf? Aware wolf!

What do you do to get a robot mad? Push all of its buttons.

What do you call something that goes up when the rain comes down? An Umbrella.

What do you call a cat that likes to eat beans? Puss ’n‘ Toots!

What do you call a South American woman who is always in a hurry? An Urgent Tina

What do you call a bear in the rain? A Drizzly Bear.

What do you call a dancing lamb? A baaaaaa-llerina!

What do you call something you can serve, but never eat? A Volleyball.

What do you call two guys from Mexico playing Basketball? Juan on Juan

What do you call a smelly Santa? Farter Christmas!

What do you call a cat sitting on ice? One cool cat.

What do you call something that stays on the ground but never gets dirty? A shadow

What do you call a policeman in bed? An undercover cop.

What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show? A cat-has-trophy!

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? A candy baa.

What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race? A Sherbet

What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence.

What do you call something that always gets ahead? A wig.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roamin’ Catholic.

What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator.

What do you call someone who shaves 10 times a day? A Barber.

What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.

What do you call an M& M that went to college? A smarty.

What do you call someone who says, “life gave me melons?” Dyslexic.

What do you call a computer that sings? A-Dell!

What do you call a key that opens the door on Thanksgiving? A Turkey.

What do you call a camel with no humps? Humphrey.

What do you call a deer that costs a dollar? A buck!

What do you call twin dinosaurs? A pair-odactyls!

What do you call a musical insect? A humbug!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

What do you call an acid with an attitude? A mean-o-acid!

What do you call alien eggs? Eggstra-terrestrials!

What do you call a fight between celebrity actors? Star Wars!

What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse!

What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad!

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Philippe-Philoppe!

What do you call a ghost comedian? Dead funny!

What do you call a shark with a tie? So-fish-ticated!

What do you call a dinosaur who wears glasses? A Doyouthinkysaraus!

What do you call someone who has seen an iPhone being stolen? An iWitness!

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant!

What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the steps? A condescending con descending!

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

What do you call a snowman’s dog? A slush puppy!

What do you call a pig with a black belt in karate? A pork chop!

What do you call an elephant in a phone box? Stuck!

What do you call a joke you make in the shower? A clean joke!

What do you call birds that stick together? Vel-crows!

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time!

What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you? Nacho cheese!

What do you call a duck who’s always telling jokes? A wisequacker!

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk!

What do you call blueberries playing the guitar? A jam session!

What do you call two spiders who just got married? Newly-webs!

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff!

What do you call a very excited pillow? A whoopee cushion!

What do you call a pistachio on a spaceship? An astro-nut!

What do you call a spaceship that drips water? A crying saucer!