Blonde Jokes

There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, „I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.“ One of the guys, of course, said, „I don’t believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?“ „N,“ she answered.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice bottle for 2 hours? A: Because it said ‚concentrate‘

Two blondes walk beside each other down the street. One of them sees a broken piece of mirror on the ground, grabs it, looks at it and says, „This girl looks so familiar, but I can’t remember where I know her from.“ The other girl grabs it from her hand, takes a look at it, and says, „It’s me you idiot!“

Q: Why was the blonde’s belly button sore? A: Her boyfriend was blonde too.

How can you tell if a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? there are m&m shells all over the kitchen floor.

I knew a blonde that was so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

How did the blonde try to kill the bird?? She threw it off a cliff.

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, „I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.“

A blonde, a fat brunette, and a skinny redhead find a magic mirror. If you lie to the mirror you die. The redhead says, „I look fat,“ and dies. The brunette says, “ I look skinny,“ and dies. The blonde says, „I think…“ and dies.

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest breasts in the third grade? A: Because she’s 21.

Q: How are U.F.Os and smart Blondes in common? A: You keep hearing about them but you never see them!

A blonde’s neighbor’s house was on fire so she called 911. The blonde told the operator, „My neighbor’s house is on fire!“ The operator asked, „Where are you?“ The blonde answered, „At my house.“ The operator replied, „No, I’m asking how do we get there?“ The blonde said, „In a firetruck, duh!“

Q: What is the best blonde secretary? A: One that never misses a period.

Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, „It’s dark in here isn’t it?“ The other replied, „I don’t know; I can’t see.“

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet. “What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?” Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology. “You keep out of this!” she yells. “I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”

What do you call an intelligent blonde? A golden retriever!

What is the first thing that a blonde always does in the morning? Goes home.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband’s car? A: She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe.

Blonde: „What is the second to last letter of the alphabet?“ Redhead: „Y.“ Blonde: „Because I want to know. Why do you have to question everything?!“

Q: How do you keep a blonde busy? A: Write „please flip over“ on a piece of paper and give it to her.