When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. „Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer…“

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A mathematician decides he wants to learn more about practical problems. He sees a seminar with a nice title: „The Theory of Gears.“ So he goes. The speaker stands up and begins, „The theory of gears with a real number of teeth is well known …“

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he problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are all derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic. But I guess the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.

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A father noticed his son was sad coming home from school one day. “What’s wrong?” The father asked. “I really don’t like long division,” the son answered, “I always feel bad for the remainders.”

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An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: „Assume we have a can opener …“

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