Chuck Norris Jokes

7. September 2021

When God said…

When God said, “Let there be light!” Chuck said, “Say Please.”

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7. September 2021

Mission Impossible was …

Mission Impossible was originally set in Chuck Norris’s house.

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris knows …

Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s secret.

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7. September 2021

If paper beats…

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck…

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris doesn’t…

Chuck Norris doesn’t need to shave. His beard is scared to grow.

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris once…

Chuck Norris once shattered the space-time continuum. He felt so bad, he put it back together.

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris was…

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra. After days of excruciating pain, the cobra passed away.

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris threw…

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then it exploded.

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris doesn’t…

Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris narrates.…

Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freeman’s life.

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris once…

Chuck Norris once split a man in by giving him a wedgie

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7. September 2021

When Chuck Norris…

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris once…

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves.

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris can…

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.

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7. September 2021

If you spell…

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris tells…

Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris is…

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris doesn’t…

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.

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7. September 2021

When Chuck Norris…

When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.

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7. September 2021

Since 1940, the year…

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris lost…

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris used…

Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands 15 feet behind…

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris calendar’3…

Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.

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7. September 2021

Chuck Norris once…

Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

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7. September 2021

If you want…

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

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