Birthday Jokes

Happy birthday! Age is Irrelpehant.

You know you’re getting old when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

You know you’re getting old when… Things you buy now won’t wear out.

Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest!

Q. What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? A. Mice cream and cake.

Kidnappers have very little interest in you.

Being related to me is the best birthday gift you could receive.

Some only dream of cake. Others bake it happen.

Q. What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles? A. No cake for me… I’m stuffed!

Man to wife, “Blow out your candles and make a wish”. The wife does but a look of disappointment crosses her face. “What’s the matter,” he asks. “My wish didn’t work.” she replies. “How do you know already?” he enquires. “You’re still here.”

I threw a ball for my dog… It’s a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

Satisfied Birthday! you’re now case in point of the old pronouncing that „Boys can be boys, and so will lots of middle-aged men.“

It’s your birthday! I hope you shellibrate!

The problem with getting older is you get dry dreams and wet farts.

Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.

I like big bundts and I cannot lie.

Is it getting warmer here or is it all the candles on your birthday cake?

When’s your birthday? July 23rd. What year? Every year.

Q. What goes up and never comes down? A. Your age.

Q: What did the elephant want for his birthday? A: A trunk full of gifts.

If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember…You can always change your birthday on Facebook!

Q. What is it about birthdays that make kangaroos unhappy? A. They only get to celebrate them in leap years!

Q: When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? A: When you slice it.

You know youre fifty when your chiropractor sends you birthday cards.

Q. What do you call an international birthday party held for a spider? A. The world wide web.

Hippo-birthday!

My birthday cake brings all the boys to the yard.

Why do we put candles on the top of birthday cakes? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!

Here’s to another koala-ty birthday!

Q. What happens when you invite a thief to your birthday party? A. They take the cake!

Q. What does every birthday end with? A. The letter Y.

Q. Why didn’t the hen attend rooster’s birthday party? A. She was too chicken.

When you were born your mom said: „It’s a treasure.“ Dad said: „Ya let’s bury.“

You know you’re getting old when… When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

A husband reels off a list of presents he suggests buying his wife for her birthday. She rejects them all. “Well you tell me what you want then.” “I want a divorce.” she replies. “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”

Q: What did the bald guy say when he was given a comb for his birthday? A: Thanks, I’ll never part with it.

Don’t worry, they are not grey hairs, they are wisdom highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise.

I know birthdays get worse as you get older. But look at the bright side — not too many left now.

Wishing you a whale of a good time on this birthday!

What’s a bee’s favorite day? It’s bee-day!

Hope this birthday is toad-ally awesome.

Q. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? A. Aye matey!

You know you are getting older when the candles don’t fit on the cake.

Happy Birthday! You’re now living proof of the old saying that „Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.“

Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles: Do your job.

Loving you is a piece of cake

You know you’re getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.

I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

Middle age: that time when you finally get your head together – then your body starts falling apart.