Birthday Jokes

Happy birthday! Age is Irrelpehant.

You know you’re getting old when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

You know you’re getting old when… Things you buy now won’t wear out.

Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest!

Q. What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? A. Mice cream and cake.

Kidnappers have very little interest in you.

Some only dream of cake. Others bake it happen.

Q. What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles? A. No cake for me… I’m stuffed!

Man to wife, “Blow out your candles and make a wish”. The wife does but a look of disappointment crosses her face. “What’s the matter,” he asks. “My wish didn’t work.” she replies. “How do you know already?” he enquires. “You’re still here.”

I threw a ball for my dog… It’s a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

Satisfied Birthday! you’re now case in point of the old pronouncing that „Boys can be boys, and so will lots of middle-aged men.“

It’s your birthday! I hope you shellibrate!

Being related to me is the best birthday gift you could receive.

Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.

Is it getting warmer here or is it all the candles on your birthday cake?

When’s your birthday? July 23rd. What year? Every year.

Q. What goes up and never comes down? A. Your age.

If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember…You can always change your birthday on Facebook!

Q. What is it about birthdays that make kangaroos unhappy? A. They only get to celebrate them in leap years!

You know youre fifty when your chiropractor sends you birthday cards.

Q. What do you call an international birthday party held for a spider? A. The world wide web.

Hippo-birthday!

The problem with getting older is you get dry dreams and wet farts.

I like big bundts and I cannot lie.