What did the…

What did the cow say at the end of the workday? An udder day, an udder dollar.

Why did the…

Why did the cow jump over the moon? Because the farmer’s hands were cold.

What do you…

What do you call a cow that drinks too much coffee? Over-calfinated.

What do you…

What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk? A milk dud.

What do you…

What do you call a cow who has no ears? It doesn’t matter, it is never going to hear you.

What do you…

What do you call a mother cow who has just given birth? De-calfinated.

Did you hear…

Did you hear about the cow who just sprays her milk everywhere? She is an udder failure.

What time is…

What time is it when a cow sits on your hat? Time to get a new hat!

What did the…

What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime!

​I have a…

​I have a decent joke about a cow, but it’s pretty offensive, so I’ll probably need to take it down. Or, you know, have it remooooved.

How do dairy…

How do dairy farmers do their taxes? They go to an accountant.

What sound do…

What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier? Cowboom.

What happened when…

What happened when the cow tried to jump the new barbed wire fence the farmer built? Udder destruction.

What do you…

What do you call a cow that just gave birth? De-calf-inated.

Why do cows…

Why do cows never have any money? Because the farmer milks them dry.

Two dairy cows…

Two dairy cows are beside one another in a field. Cow 1: “I was artificially impregnated this afternoon.” Cow 2: “Look buddy, I just don’t believe you” Cow 1: “It really is true, straight up, no bull!”

What’s a…

What’s a cow’s favorite newspaper? The Daily Moos. What do you get when you cross a cow and a dog? Hound beef.

How do you…

How do you make a cow be quiet? Press the moo-te button.

What do you…

What do you call a cow on a diet? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

I was staying…

I was staying at my friends farm last weekend. I decided to do him a favour and got up early to milk the cow for him. When I returned with a bucket of milk and told him what I did he replied “we don’t have a cow, we have a bull”.

You know what…

You know what they say about cows…they’re outstanding in their field.

What do you…

What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow? A baaaaaaad mooooood.

What do you…

What do you call a cow that’s laying down? Ground beef.

What do you…

What do you call a cow jumping on a trampoline? A milkshake.

What do you…

What do you get when you cross a cow and a goat? A coat.

Two guys were…

Two guys were playing cards and smoking a joint. That’s right, the stakes were really high.