Dog Jokes

What did the skeleton say to the puppy? Bonappetite

Why was the dog stealing shingles? He wanted to become a woofer!

How do dogs eat spaghetti? The same way everyone else does, they put it in their mouths!

For sale: Eight puppies from a German shepherd and an Alaskan hussy.

Why did the dog sleep under a car? Cause he wanted to wake up oily!

What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxi cabs!

What dog can jump higher than a building? Any dog because buildings can’t jump.

Why can’t dogs work the DVD remote? Because they always hit the paws button!

Why are there Dalmatians on fire engines? To help the firefighters find the nearest fire hydrant.

What kind of dog chases anything red? A Bulldog.

What did the waiter say to the dog when he brought out her food? Bone appetit!

What do you get if you cross a dog and an airplane? A jet setter.

What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.

Why shouldnt you bring your farty dog to an Apple store? Because they dont have windows!

I took my dog to the vet. She said “He’s a little overweight” I said I wanted a second opinion. She replied “He’s also pretty cute”

What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog? Dingo Starr.

Which dog breed absolutely LOVES living in the city? A New Yorkie!

What do you do if a dog chews your dictionary? Take the words right out of his mouth!

What do you call a dog that’s been out in the cold? A pupsicle!

What’s a dog’s favorite dessert? Pupcakes!

How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster? Terrier-fied!

After a talking Sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.” “But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer. “I know,” says the Sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”

How do you stop a dog from barking in your front yard? Put him in your backyard!

At a dinner party a Pug farts. The king charles turns to him and says “How dare you fart in front of me!” The pug replies “Im sorry, I didnt realize it was your turn!”

What type of zoo has only a dog? Shih Tzu