Pirate Jokes

What do pirates wear when it gets really cold? Long Johns.

What does the pirate say when his leg gets stuck in the freezer? Shiver me timbers!

Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.

What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of food? BARRRR-B-Q!

Why did two pirates get into an argument? Because they couldn’t see aye to aye!

What’s a pirates favorite part of a song? The hook!

How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook? An arm and a leg.

What do you call a stupid pirate? The pillage idiot

What does pirate Santa say? Row row row!

What’s a parrot’s favourite game? Hide and speak!

What’s a pirates favourite type of music? Rum & Bass!

Where do pirates keep their valuables? In a jarrrrr

Why are pirates so good at singing? Because they can hit the high C’s!

What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.

What’s a pirates favourite fish dish? Pieces of skate!

What type of haircut does a pirate get? A crew cut!

What does a dyslexic pirate say? RRRRRRA!

What’s a pirate’s worst enemy? Termites

Why is pirating so addictive? They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!

Why do pirates bury their treasure 18 inches under the ground? Because booty is only shin deep

Why did the pirate go on vacation? He needed a little arrrrg and arrrg

Why was the pirate ship so cheap? It was on sail!

What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea? He got marooned.

Where do pirates buy their hooks? The second hand store!

What do you call a pirate with both eyes and all his limbs? A rookie.