Christmas Jokes

What do snowmen have for breakfast? Snowflakes!

What did Frosty’s girlfriend give him when she was mad at him? The cold shoulder.

How did the bauble know that she was addicted to Christmas? She’d been hooked on Christmas trees all her life.

Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks!

What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!

What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly? Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.

What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!

Why wouldn’t the cat climb the Christmas tree? It was afraid of the bark.

What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells!

What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band? The Who!

Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had very low elf esteem.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Coal. Coal who? Coal me if you hear Santa coming.

What do you call a blind reindeer with no legs? Still no-eye deer.

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.

Why does Santa have elves in his workshop? Because the Seven Dwarfs were busy!

What carol is heard in the desert? ‘O camel ye faithful!’

What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards!

What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack.

Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.

What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.

Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store? He was searching for some holiday spirit.

How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He refers to his calen-deer.

Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed to be trimmed!